Ralph for President

I have sometimes wondered if certain high profile lefties are really moles in deep cover or just plain bonkers.

Tony Benn for one. For many years now he has tottered on the line between credible, if fanciful leftism and outright barmpotism that makes the right's job just too easy for it to be a coincidence. I mean, that interview with Saddam Hussein. Why, Tony, why?

But then he'll be on the radio again talking with a reasonable approximation of sensibleness and one's inclined to think, Yeah, I can see why he's respected across the political divide. The other day, however, on the Today programme, he was neither sensible, endearingly bonkers, or even working as a right wing fifth columnist. Sad to say he just sounded like a confused old git.

It was a piece on a new book of essays looking at the Labour governments of Wilson and Callaghan. The editor of the book was saying how no one, left or right, had a good word to say about those times, mainly because of their own political axe grinding, and Tony just waded in, arguing and getting irate about stuff that hadn't even been said. The whole discussion ended up as a farce. Shame. Time to hang up microphone, Tone.

Another Rightie fifth columnist has got to be Ralph Nader. He's going to stand for president again. As if winning it for Bush last time wasn't good enough.

Still, the world would be a duller place without the barmpot left and, if I can take issue with what I've just said without straying into the barmpot area myself, Nader may as well go for it. What the hell, has recent history shown any evidence that the Democats are any less vile than Republicans?

Nader for president and pass the straightjacket.